hey guys! (: haha yes i know.. my blog's dead.. well.. this christmas week was sure one roller coaster ride... And my N level results were awesome.. (: im coming back to aes nx year.. im glad.. wow.. 2009 came and go just like that.. soon it'll be 2010.. its real real fast.. And yes, we're becoming OLDer.. hahaha. well, i'm gonna miss this year so much.. I've gone through so much obstacles.. well, hopefully.. nx year would be a much much much better year for me.. (:

yesterday was a day that i just wanna forget.. Its funny how simple mistakes could effect you so much... I'm worried, scared and i've no clue what i should do honestly... All i know right now.. is to go with the flow.. I've never been a genius in solving problems.. but i always try to.. i admit.. i run from them too.. But this time.. i just can't.. Not with you witnessing every move i make.. sometimes we just gotta do things we dont wanna do just to keep every situation under control.. It's amazing how fragile love is.. Once, i called it something thats so imaginary... and now, i know.. a simple mistake could hurt someone you love so much... I've always been a runner.. why? maybe because im too afraid to realise every outcome.. But after you came.. that fear just dissapeared.. I'd do anything and everything just to get things normal again.. We just gotta trust each other.. (: and the fact that i love you so much... running away from all these.. is the last thing i'd do..


Heyyy. (:
finally, N levels are over, oh and pardon me for being away for awhile.. I swear i'm not lazy to blog. Just busy.. that's all.. so i've been attending this bridging prograamme lately hoping to learn something new but we've been thrown all this assignments and projects and given datelines.. so far it's kinda boring.. And, i overslept today.. i woke up at 9am.. great huh? so i went and have a really quick shower.. changed up and ran to the bus stop.. i reached sch by 9.30. (: okay.. mr tom screwed me good when i steppedd into class.. i wore the pe shirt.. so i had to BUY a school uniform.. bloody hell. But i did la.. so today morning was really reallly baddddd! But the afternoon was fine.. played soccer.. with a free mind this time. (: oh And yesterday we played woodland wellington. NFA won them 5-0. so we are CONFIRMED 2nd. well done laaaa. (: hahaha. i played.. got kicked under my chin, so it was bruised for awhile.. Why i got kicked? cause i was brave enough to use my head to win the ball while my opponent used his leg.. so he kicked me.. but i won the ball. i know i'm a freak. Thank you. (: hahah okay done.. that's it.. nth happen for toda.. i'm going out for a good dinner.. be jealous my people... (: and this post dedicated to rachael.. my no. 1 blog fan... HAHAHA


Cause when your gone, its like God put out the sun.

Hey people. (:
wow, it has really been awhile! Been really busy with school, well, N level's like in 1 week time.. So yeah, all these busy-ness are expected. haha. Oh, and malay oral is nx monday and i really, really hope it'll turn out fine.. i gotta do some memorising.. and maybe a little prayer every now and then! hahaha. I feel kinda guilty actually, i've asked for off with the NFA but.. i've been kinda slacking at home. And that i gotta cut out. So.. i'm gonna do some history and physics today. I better get the hang of the first few chapts of physics before moving on.. And for history.. gonna revis on Nazism by mindmapping and reading! Ohh my, i've a plan! for once. yeah, blogging do helps every now and then. haha. okaay. i better go.. Oh rach, she's becoming slower than me.. Now, she's the slowcoach. (: And no, "john was home before me" excuses rach! FYI, you went home first! hahahaha. My, my.. waiting to see how she'd react to this. And of course, her amusing excuses to counter the label, "SLOWCOAAAAACH." hahahah. waiting rach, i'm waiting. haha.


HELLLLLO!
Oh man! this morning street soccer was awesome. It's been ages since i've played in a heavy rain with a free mind! The last time was obviously with nfa but you knw.. stress, tensions.. i was damn serious.. but not today! had fun with the guys.. it was reeeeeally cool. What a nice way to relieve stress after a week of hell. I like. (: ohh, andd it's shane cousin birthday. That fellow should have allow me to tag along.. But no.... bloodymonkey. Nvm, nvm. spoil such a chance FOR ME. to meet .. sigh. shane .. shane.. a brother who bastards me. cool huh? okay. joking. haha. he's a big timer now. i shall not play around with him. [: ''sorry boss'' *
OKAY.
i've done my maths paper 2. So bedok North's done. Tmr, paper 1 maths.. and i haven't studies Physics or chem! and that's my task. JOHHHHHN. OKOKOKAY! gonna do that real soon. Gonna read up a little physics. At least 3 units! andd, i would read my history before sleeping.. there you go, working around the clock! (: So what am i doing right now? i'm chatting with rach online.. she thinks she has just offended me. sigh.. yeah, she did.. but it's okay..
OKAY,
i should go
bye.
I'M JUST KIDDING RACH! ((: AGAIN! HAHAHAHAHAAHA:D


Hey there.
well, this week was a real rollercoaster for me.. You knw, if i were to think back, i've went to through so much in 2009. Some ups, some downs. But, more of downs, i suppose.. And i really can't rate life right now cause doing that would be really discouraging. I started the year with fear.. Not with academics but instead with something that made me feel totally different from any other ordinary person. Trainnings has been really tough recently and still i keep on pushing to my limits, trying to be my best. Why is that? because, every second that passes me seem so precious nowadays during trainning or when i'm having a match. It feels like it'd be my last. I remembered being told i'll have to give this passion of mine up someday. But i didn't expect it to be soon. And i hope not. Sometimes i wonder, what god have in plan for me. This passion of mine is the only thing that makes me feel like myself. In fact, i think it has MADE me. I had an injury. Been out for 3 months and still i'm expected to sit out. But what makes you think i'm willing to do that? Afterall, time waits for no one.. I might not be myself lately. Probably because i'm being put into a really difficult situation. There's maybe tooo much on my mind.. idk. And at a time like this, when you really need a person to talk too. You can't. why? well, there's ppl around but, i can't put myself into those situations and talk about it. Maybe, i'm better of just dealing with such things alone. See that smile on my face? trust me, it's fake. Cause i'm really afraid to see the results in black and white and to eventually accept who i really am in 1 week time. I've done my best for 8 years. They say it takes 6 years to develope an amateur footballer. I've passed that stage. And supposely, my big breakthrough's next year. And watching it all, possibly going down the drain and not being able to do anything about it but watch. Hurts.

you could accept me for who i am or
you could push me away..
But just don't pull me close just to have that
chance to push me away sooner or later.


Hello!! ohhh. school re-opens tmr..
there'll be the noisy bunch of girls.
the class matreps. hahaha and i'll be most of the time with them! hahah.
There'll be so many ppl i wanna see! ESPECIALLY A FEW! ((:
So it'll be the last term for the year. And my term would only last for a month.. well, i hope i'll be able to focus in class and stuff. it's the last hurdle for 2009. C'mon johnnn! And trainning tmr at sports sch. hopefully i'll be fitter now. trainning was damn tough on friday. Gosh! Also, tmr.. will be the start of my intensive study.. i gotta mug extra hard in order to end up in sec 5 nx year. But whatever the results, i too wanna spend quality time with my classmates.. cause, if they woudn't be back nx year.. i'd really miss them. So yeah. I'm taking the effort to get closer to ppl. (: And i've no homework.. so i'm here enjoying my final hours before sleeping and waking up to the start of my term 4. where they'll be more studies for me.. lesser computer. lesser tv. hmm, you get the picture.. so yes. Enjoy this final moments john. anyway i've no homeworrk! but rach does.. awww. and their last minute work. Brilliant eh? she's really brilliant. hahaha. ohh okay! i should shut up!

Yesterday
Played soccer at BT plaza with shan and moses. morelike trainning for shane actually. And that fellow is freaking unfit. Just a little bit. AHHHH CRAMP JOHN CRAMP. Then give him chance and focus on core muscles he started crying and screaming.. bloody hell. and he did so little work. Yet he actually lost a few kg. cool huh? see, trainning under me's effective. (: But overall, the fellow's inproving as a keeper ahh.. i'm impress.. but still.. he's a freaking joker.. *AHHH CRAMP JOHN CRAMP.
hahahahaha yeap, that's it!